Infusing magic into our lives feels like a rite of passage. My mom is a designer of memories. Looking back, I can recall countless moments where she added the extra step, thought or detail that transformed the entire day. Sometimes it took a lot of effort and sometimes it was just the little things. In early adulthood, I subconsciously started bringing magic into our lives. Now, it is a conscious decision and it’s time to discuss the magic of birthdays.
Birthdays have so much expectation tied to them. We’ve all gotten used to comparing and broadcasting how we celebrate. The amount of money you spend or the activity you choose does not mean you’re happier or had more fun. It just means you spent more money. I’d much rather have a thoughtful celebration than an extravagant one that wasn’t really that much fun.
Being thoughtful is underrated.
The biggest cost to being thoughtful is your time. Most of the time, it means planning ahead. Last week was my husband Sam’s 30th birthday. In past years, I’ve brought in magic through baking. In two different years, I’ve made him Baked by Melissa’s Tie Dye birthday cake and also her Fruity Pebbles cake. Both of them are extremely involved and time consuming recipes.
I’ve also planned an entire weekend celebration with friends. All my husband had to do was show up. I tried to include his favorite activities and add in something special. We played board games and went to Dave & Busters. It may look so simple, but having someone else plan for you is a gift in itself. He just got to enjoy it while I timed out our activities and directed where we should go next.
This year, I feel I’ve outdone myself. It is a maximum effort year for such a big milestone birthday.
It all started out of necessity, really.
We had an important wedding in Florida on the weekend after Sam’s birthday. I am slightly superstitious and will not celebrate a birthday before it happens, so I had to improvise. At first, I thought we’d make a big trip out of it! Florida for your 30th birthday opens up so many possibilities. Surprisingly, that idea wasn’t the winner.
I had a challenge on my hands. How to make a local, Thursday birthday special? It came together piece by piece and slower than you’d imagine. The first decision, of course, we had to take the day off of work. This day needed more than just a dinner or a cake.
A side note, I have a Google Keep account where I write down any idea I see, adventure I want to do, date I want to plan, gift I want to give for the most important people in my life. I’ve found it extremely helpful to capture ideas when it’s not the right time to use them and have them waiting when it’s decision-time.
So naturally, I went to my Sam notes. I had written down a bookstore challenge and from there the idea unfolded. Before I take you through the day I planned, I’d like to emphasize my thinking. I took an activity, as seemingly mundane as going to the bookstore, and turned it into an event. That’s the magic. I sat and thought about Sam’s favorite things to do, eat, experience and I planned the day for him. Every detail, every chapter was with him in mind.
If you take out the magic, the extra things I added in, it could read as a pretty boring itinerary. You are the fun. At any age people want to have fun. At any age people want to experience magic. If you’re reading along and finding that you don’t have a magic maker in your life, well, I just appointed you.
Sam’s 30th Birthday Adventure
See ^ just giving it a name already changes it from being a standard Thursday.
Since Sam is a writer, I decided to name each part of the adventure a “Chapter”. Each chapter is announced one at a time with a decorated envelope right before we’re going to do it. Each envelope contains a card with a poem about what we’re going to do. They are also decorated with relevant stickers inside (because who doesn’t love stickers). I have put together a playlist of 1 song per item to help us get into the right mindset for the activity. I played the songs as I gave him each envelope.
I’ve included three poems here to give you a sense of the tone. The others are ours to keep.
Chapter 1: The Morning Ritual
Location: Village Coffee in Maplewood, NJ
Activity: Breakfast
The first envelope really set our day in motion. Sam was so excited and grateful that I had planned this type of day for him, even though at this point, he still had no idea what our day entailed.
Chapter 2: The 31-Minute Challenge
Location: [words] Bookstore in Maplewood, NJ
Activity: Bookstore Challenge.
I am so happy I got to see this challenge come to life. I set my timer for 31 minutes (one for each year of his life + one for good luck). Sam spent his time carefully picking out as many books as he could physically carry in his arms.
Chapter 3: The Village Explorer
Location: Maplewood, NJ
Activity: Explore Maplewood’s town center
“You’ve found your stories, now we explore the town.
Wander freely, across, up and down.
I’ll follow your lead, our adventure awaits,
Let’s see what hides behind Maplewood’s gates.”
We were happy to have the time walking down the street and exploring what else Maplewood has to offer. Now we know, it’s a lot more restaurants we want to try!
Chapter 4: The Feast
Location: La Cabaña in Elizabeth, NJ
Activity: Birthday lunch feast
Sam and his parents had a Mexican restaurant they each chose to go to for their celebrations and birthdays. Every time I went with them, which was quite a few, they each ordered the Enchiladas Verdes. Since they’ve moved from Massachusetts, they haven’t found a replacement. La Cabaña was my attempt to fill that void. Sam says that I’ve succeeded. He was thrilled with their Enchiladas Verdes and has already planned our next trip back.
Chapter 5: The Portuguese Discovery
Location: Ferry Street in Newark, NJ
Activity: Walk + Teixeira’s Bakery
A walk down Ferry Street was not in the cards for us. There was too much snow! We did indulge in Teixeira’s Bakery’s famous pastel de natas. They did live up to the hype.
Chapter 6: The Scenic Drive
Location: Branch Brook Park in Newark, NJ
Activity: Just drive through, enjoy the park, decompress
Sometimes finding a place to go back to is just as impactful as experiencing the place itself. We can’t wait to go back to Branch Brook Park in the Spring. Again, we didn’t walk because of the snow, but it may have been better. We daydreamed of what our next adventure could look like when the snow melted.
Chapter 7: The Intermission
Location: Home!
Activity: Whatever Sam wants to do during this break.
“Welcome to intermission, your time to rest.
Read your new books, do what you love best.
The next chapter begins when the time feels right,
There’s way more celebrating left to do tonight!”
When I handed Sam this card, he had just finished saying how he was losing steam. Of course, Sam loses steam often in the afternoon and I planned around this. His face lit up when he saw that I knew that about him. We ended up spending this time packing for our vacation, the gym for Sam and a quick nap for me! I didn’t anticipate how tired I’d be driving all over NJ, but it was completely worth it.
Chapter 8: The Movie
Location: Home!
Activity: Watch a movie of Sam’s choice in the basement
Luckily for me, Sam knows how much of a Bridgerton fan I am and wanted to spend this time watching the latest episodes.
Chapter 9: The Dinner
Location: pastaRAMEN in Montclair, NJ
Activity: Go out for dinner & dessert
We had the most delicious meal at pastaRAMEN ending with mochi. It was our first time eating mochi and the best time to do it. I’d highly recommend it.
Chapter 10: The End
Location: Home!
Activity: Give Sam Letter & Birthday Gifts
“I can’t believe the end is here,
I could celebrate you every day of the year.
Our thirties will be our best decade yet,
Living life to the fullest with no regret.
Here’s to the life we’re building, and adventures anew,
We end with your gift, from me to you.”
What a wonderful end to the night it was. Sam was surprised that after our adventure, he still got a gift from me. It was so sweet to think that the day I planned could’ve been his gift. That wouldn’t do for me. I got us concert tickets for the weekend of our July festival.
When all is said and done, we didn’t do anything extraordinarily unique.
Perhaps that is the point. It only takes a little bit of extra thought to be a magic maker. One special moment that I didn’t anticipate from this day, was the excitement it brought Sam to think about planning a day like this for me. A new category of local adventures where one person plans and the other person is along for the ride has just opened up for us. I can’t wait to see where we go on the next one.
Challenge: Find something that’s already scheduled on your calendar that is seemingly mundane and add a little magic.
