I would’ve laughed in your face. If you told me that I would become a person who went to the gym. I would’ve spit out my water in your face if you would’ve said that I became a person who went to the gym with my husband. But I did and let me tell you about it.
I’ve wanted a fitness routine since I graduated from high school. The loss of sports and being on a team left a gap wide open. I used to run for lacrosse, but I didn’t feel comfortable running the streets alone and I hate the treadmill. I was a dancer my entire life, but never seemed to find a class that I was looking forward to going to.
In college, there were several other people who used to play sports that no longer belonged to a team. I could’ve joined an intramural team or an athletic club. I’m sure there was a running club. Somehow college is the time where everyone transitions to “going to the gym”. At a time where everyone is trying to find their new social footing, I had decided looking foolish at the gym wasn’t an option for me.
How embarrassing it would have been if I stood there to read how the machines worked? Admitting there was something I didn’t know and then potentially looking silly while trying to figure it out? I couldn’t allow it.
I’m going to pause here to share – this outlook is so dumb.
After college, I tried so many classes and studios. I could never find the right fit for me. I didn’t want working out to feel like a chore. I wanted an instructor who understood my motivation. Wait, what was my motivation? I didn’t have one. I kept loosely saying “for health”. I made declarations, next year is the year I’ll do it. Next year, I will be the most fit I’ve ever been. And then next year would roll around and I’d come up with some excuse.
During Covid, I did a ton of workout videos with my mom and sister. We were bored and it was something for us to do together.
But when I moved back to the city, I couldn’t get into an exercise routine again. A year later, as we were moving out of NYC, I finally found two classes I liked. What bad timing. I tried to keep up with them by watching YouTube videos but it just wasn’t the same.
At this point in my journey, I stopped trying to have a fitness goal altogether. I knew I was lying to myself and I determined this would be a future Elaina problem. About a year later, I realized I had put on a little bit of weight. I know what you’re thinking: this was the spark that was missing. You’d be wrong. I evaluated my life to try to determine what had happened. I stopped walking. I was working a fully remote position and living a mostly sedentary life.
The easiest answer, and I think we’ve all been there, a step goal. Now, did I ever check the goal? No. I just tried to walk more. I was more aware of what I was eating. But ultimately, I didn’t make the big change.
And now the sentence that will make a lot of people cringe, but it’s the truth. Even with the few pounds I had added, I was still happy when I looked in the mirror. Weight has never been the motivating factor for me, it was always health. Well, health is too vague of a reason why. Around this time, I started to think, wouldn’t it be cool to be strong?
Fast forward three years, I hadn’t thought much about getting strong between that first spark and now. You may ask what sparked the fitness question to come back. I wanted to be strong enough to pick up my nephew. He was starting to get heavy for my weak, unexercised arms. He is by no means heavy: this is a me problem.
I had the thought at the end of 2025 and that is really what sparked the journey that ended up being successful for me.
January 2026
Why in the world do people choose to start a fitness routine in Winter? It’s too cold to go outside, I’ll start in March.
March 2026
Oh, I don’t know if I want to pay for a membership. What if I don’t like it?
April 2026
Goes to the gym with her husband as a guest of his membership and has stuck with it. Turns out, it’s easier to learn the equipment at the gym if you have someone who knows about it teach you.
What changed?
As I write this, two lessons feel obvious to me. Can you guess them?
Accountability partners.
Every time I have had a successful fitness routine, it hasn’t been just me. In high school, I worked out with my team on a schedule the coach set for us. In Covid, I worked out with my family. Now, I workout with my husband. It’s something we do together. The connection of going to the gym is what propelled me to stick with it.
His accountability has allowed me the grace to find the routine that I want to stick with. To build the habit. Now, I am considering my own gym membership so I can go whenever I want because right now I am only going when it works for him.
You need a solid reason.
What are you going to tell yourself when you don’t want to do it? What will make the difference so you will do it anyways? For me, being healthy or being strong wasn’t tangible enough. Being able to continue to pick up my nephew was a goal worth going for.
And that is just the start. Now, as I am getting stronger, my goal is to see how strong I truly can get. To see what impact it makes in my life.
Going to the gym and completing a workout gives me a sense of accomplishment. Being able to add more weight and feel the progress of getting stronger gives me motivation to keep going. I now understand why gym rats are always bragging and talking about the gym; why they’d want to share their lifestyle and choices with everyone. It is a little addicting. The sense of accomplishment you feel when you complete your workout. Why wouldn’t everyone want it?
I don’t want anyone to follow my fitness program nor am I going to share it. I want you to find your reason for fitness. I want you to find an exercise that you don’t dread. I want you to feel a sense of accomplishment. Most of all, I want you to tell that little voice that everyone starts somewhere. How could someone look silly for trying? Preposterous.
It took me 13 years to find a fitness routine as an adult. If you’re searching like I was, I hope you find a routine that works for you soon.
Challenge
Try to find an accountability partner, even if that just means that your friend texts you asking if you worked out that week.
