“Twenty-Noiinne” – Schmidt

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My birthday is coming up, creeping up on me this year.  With a slow approach, it is causing me to have a lot of time to reflect.  When did it become socially acceptable to ask someone how they feel about aging? Everyone expects me to say that I am horrified to be entering my last year of my twenties.  

Birthdays and new years may remind some people to add a little purpose to their lives, but not me.  I do not see them as the only time for goal setting.  I wrote a post in 2020 about goal setting and it is remarkable how much I still agree with myself.

The truth is, all I feel is pride.  I couldn’t have imagined by this age that I’d be living life so intentionally.  It is all I could have hoped for.  I have achieved in my first 29 years more than some people dream to accomplish in their lifetime.  I am so unbelievably grateful.  One of my favorite quotes is “Remember when you wanted what you currently have”.  

I do remember.  

In the moment, it may feel like growth is slow and working towards your goals could take forever.  Don’t listen to that voice.  I always thought the balance that I would have to work towards having my entire life would be between work and life.  I am starting to realize that the real balance is between productivity and relaxation.  For the record, and for my future self reading this as I am sure I will forget, it is PRODUCTIVE to your sanity to RELAX.

AGAIN – IT IS PRODUCTIVE TO YOUR SANITY TO RELAX.

If you don’t take time to enjoy, what is your hard work for? Pause.  Share your wins, even if they feel small.  For a while, I thought I was preparing to go back to school for my MBA.  I was grinding and grinding until one day, I looked up and said “Did I miss the part where I got the job I was going back to school for?” At the time the answer was yes.  I listed my reasons for going back to school and most of them were satisfied by the most unexpected role in my career thus far.  

My current role was also the only one that was not pre-planned with a specific purpose.  I took this job initially so I could work remotely and travel the country.  It was the only box that needed to be checked.  Who could’ve imagined it would turn into so much more? Who could’ve told me the growth that I would feel in this past year is insurmountable?  Did I truly grow more in the last year than all of the years before? That feels like a hyperbole, yet somewhat how I am feeling.

Even with all of these great realizations, it was hard to not feel like a failure for “quitting” applying to go back to school.  I didn’t fail though.  Quite the opposite.  I followed through and put my all into making this decision.  I learn best through experiences, and it took the experience of planning to apply for this program to realize it was not the right choice for me.  Choosing a different path because life has changed is not failing.  I did not step away because I was afraid.  I stepped away because it simply didn’t fit into my evolved vision of my future.  One of the first times in my life that I have changed a decision after it was made.  I am quite decisive.  

It feels braggy, but I love my life. 

Sure, I still have unfinished goals and there are parts that I’d like to dedicate more attention to.  One huge change that I’ve made is to prioritize me.  Sometimes I put my basic needs over others and let me tell you a secret: the world didn’t collapse around me.  You will never be able to obtain that which you don’t ask for.  I identified areas that I wanted to improve and I created tangible solutions to improve them.

It is remarkable how much joy you can feel if you put just an ounce of the effort you put into others, into yourself.  Bring on another year.  They just keep on getting better.  

Challenge: Find an area of your life that you feel stuck or want to improve. Take a step back and come at it from another angle.